It has taken me most of my adult life to get to the point where my three teenage sons have accepted my friend requests on Facebook.
I’m not sure if this is a major victory or a daily reminder of my greatest defeat. Tonight my son Rocky posted a heartfelt message that went something like this:
“Idk how people can just kick friends and family out of there life’s over stupid things. I fear losing the people around me more than I fear death. I could never do it.”
To which I replied on his Facebook page.
It’s their lives, not there life’s. Just sayin.
Rocky immediately sent me a private message:
“This is why I block you from my Facebook.”
What can I say? I am a writer and I want my children to learn proper grammar. Is that too much to ask?
Actually, there are plenty of reasons to block people on Facebook.
Here Are The Top Ten Reasons To Block Someone From Facebook:
1. The Selfie King or Queen – Okay, I get it. You love you. I just really don’t want to see a picture of you at home, in the car, at the mall, trying on shoes, having a drink, smiling, making a resting bitch face, fluffing your hair, straightening your hair, wearing your sunglasses, not wearing your sunglasses, etc. Document your entire day for yourself so you can see how great you looked in every moment. Personally I don’t care.
2. The Relentless Foodie – I’m pretty sure that I like to eat just as much as you do. I just don’t have the need to share it with the world. Your breakfast looks fine, as does your lunch, mid-afternoon snack and your dinner. I get it. You love food. Did I mention that there are children starving not only in Africa but right here in the good old USA?
3. The Hypochondriac – You’re tired. You’re crampy. You have the flu. Your sinuses ache. Your doctor hasn’t called, just called, wants to see you. You feel like shit and you can’t stop talking about it. I’m not heartless but there really isn’t anything that I can do. Update your status when you’re feeling well for once. That would be a welcomed change of pace.
4. The Work Out Nut – Thank you for recording your every footstep you take on your Fitbit and posting it on Facebook. If I ever need to find you I’ll know every moment that you spend at the gym. I’m so happy that I didn’t miss the selfie on the treadmill and the photo of you covered in sweat.
5. The Democrat/Republican/Liberal/Independent Looking For A Fight – Unbeknownst to you, I am really okay with whatever opinion you have. That is what makes you an individual, that is also what makes the world go round. The truth is that you just like to stir things up and your goal is to get under someone’s skin and really have it out. Facebook wasn’t created to be a political platform. Sorry to disappoint you. To each his own. I’m seriously okay with that. Just respect that other people feel as passionately about their stance as you do, and that’s okay. Please just let everyone be.
6. The Trouble Maker – Facebook is not a venue to destroy people’s lives. It is not the place to out your sister-in law about having an abortion, to bully someone, embarrass them or try to destroy their lives. I have seen it all. ENOUGH SAID.
7. The Stalker – Just because you knew someone in high school, worked with them 15 years ago or ran into them at the grocery store last week, doesn’t mean that they want to interact with you everyday on Facebook. If you keep private messaging someone and they don’t respond, they probably don’t want to talk to you. This would be obvious to most people. For those of you that don’t get it, reread #7.
8. The Bragger – We get it. You have been there, done that, achieved it, purchased it, traveled there and you just happen to have the most accomplished brilliant children in the world. If we ever need to experience ultimate perfection we can certainly visit your page.
9. The Total Pessimist – No matter what anyone says you are right there to spread the doom and gloom. You are easily offended by anything that is meant as a joke and you can instantly destroy a funny post or meme by taking it too literally. Lighten up. Life is just too damn short.
10. The Teenager – Let’s face it, you know it ALL. You post things that I find so offensive that I frequently check your page to spare my extended family the embarrassment. You just don’t get it, but I live in hope of the day when you finally do and we can interact and share ideas as adults. In the meantime, I’ll continue to police your page, correct your spelling and love you nonetheless.