When John and I first started dating, my dad’s best friend, Jack, shook John’s hand upon meeting him, looked him right in the eye and stated with a smile, “Johnny, Johnny, Johnny…you’ll never be bored.”

As I reflect on our last five years together, I have to admit that truer words were never spoken.

While some couples spend countless nights staring at the television or watching Netflix, John and I live a life worthy of a prime time reality show.

Don’t believe me?

My son Kevin always says, “There’s no lack of material here.”

So, I’m going to try to recap some of the highlights…

John moved from Long Island, NY, and I moved from Charlotte, NC, back to Connecticut. It was never our intention to live together, it just worked out that way. John was unable to find an apartment with his bad credit score and I was unable to find an apartment that would allow pets. Eventually, John found a place for me, my sons and our dog Max, on Craigslist.

My father hired movers to relocate all of my belongings from Charlotte, NC to Shelton, Connecticut. The day that the moving truck arrived I was elated. Unfortunately, the movers had cracked my flat screen television and dropped my new dryer off the moving van. If all of that wasn’t bad enough, the movers left half of my possessions in North Carolina.

My dad asked one of the movers, “Where are my grandson’s beds?”

“We didn’t bring them.” The mover stated, as his eyes remained directed at his frayed sneakers.

“Are you telling me that my grandchildren have no beds?” My father, a generally gentle, kind man, bellowed an inch from the movers face.

“Ed, calm down. Not good for the old ticker.” my mother piped in.

I sighed, are you kidding me? I thought, this move cost three thousand dollars and my kids have no beds?!

Suddenly, my phone rang and I struggled to fish it from the depths of my purse.

“Hello?”

“Michael fell and broke his collar-bone. We’re headed to the hospital.” My ex-sister-in law blurted out in a panic.

“I’m on my way.” I said, as I hung up the phone.

John and I left in a flash. My nephew was hurt and I had to get to the hospital, bed or no beds.

Michael had x-rays and his collar-bone was reset. Upon leaving the hospital, we failed to remember where we parked our car in the parking garage (which wasn’t half as bad as the valet parking attendant threatening to have my ex-sister-in-law’s car towed while she was with her child in the ER) but we managed to find our vehicle after fifteen minutes of circling the parking garage on foot.

Michael was okay.

My kids needed beds.

My dad was pissed off.

The next day, John and I jumped on a plane and set out to my apartment in North Carolina to collect the rest of my belongings.

Stay tuned for Part 2

You will not believe what happens next.

And yes, apologies to my family, I’m disclosing all of it and it’s going to get crazy.

My Life I Swear…