“I Tasted It With My Eyes And I Don’t Like It”

What is it about kids and food? They love it, they hate it. It makes them giggle with joy and anticipation, it makes them cry. There is nothing more frustrating than worrying about what your child does or doesn’t eat, or how much. When my son Eric (aka Rocky) was an infant he was such a picky eater, that every time I gave him baby food he would throw it up on his high chair tray. My concerned mother offered to babysit him and took the opportunity to puree all of his vegetables straight from the garden. Ultimately, he threw them all up on the high chair tray too. When Eric was a toddler he only ate graham crackers. We stocked the pantry full until, one day, he shook his head “No” to graham crackers. That was the beginning of the long list of the only “one food” that my child would eat until he became sick of it. I don’t get it but I have learned that it will all turn out okay in the long run. So for a few moments, put aside the incessant worry that your child isn’t eating enough of the right things or getting the proper nutrition and embrace the crazy ride.

Did you ever buy something just because you had a coupon? When Marc was four years old I picked up a bag of Tyson frozen Any’Tizers: Chicken Cordon Bleu…they came in a small appetizer ball, easy to eat. I followed the instructions, heated them up and served them as a side with our family dinner. Needless to say they were a big hit! Marc announced at the dinner table, “Can I have some more blue balls? I LOVE blue balls!”

Good for you, Marc. I’ll check back with you in twenty years on that statement. Enough said.

Eric would only eat spaghetti…any other kind of pasta became a negotiation…”But Eric, penne pasta is spaghetti’s cousin…” all to no avail. Eric only liked spaghetti. One day at my parents house, my mom made stuffed shells for dinner. She thought nothing of reaching over to cut Eric’s stuffed shells in half so they would be easier for him to eat. Once Eric saw the ricotta cheese inside, he was mentally done with the meal before he even started.

“Eric, eat your dinner.” my father stated

“No.” Eric replied

“Why won’t you eat it?” my father asked

Eric said, “Because I don’t like it.”

“How do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t even tried it?” my father inquired

Eric replied, “Well, I tasted it with my eyes Papa, and I know I don’t like it.”

Maybe we’ll never understand what is inside of the mind of a child when it comes to food. What I have learned is to take it all in stride and laugh out loud when the situation presents itself…before you know it you will be shopping for and feeding a teenager that lives to work out and consumes a protien only diet.

Can I interest you in a Chicken Cordon Bleu Ball…I have a coupon?

 

 

 

 

 

A Valentine’s Day Twist (As Told From the Perspective of Your Waitress)

I’ve worked in a restaurant most of my life. I enjoy people and serving the public. Doing so has helped me to develop amazing interpersonal skills and also an array of great stories. Through the years, Valentine’s Day has been a busy holiday and a standard couples night out.

Walking into any restaurant on Valentine’s Day, you’ll be sure to see tables filled with adorable couples, blissfully in love, sharing a bottle of wine. How romantic, right? Wait, maybe you’re not seeing the entire picture, like I am…your local waitress.

Allow me to give you the inside scoop…

Filet mignon, lobster tails, baked stuffed shrimp, rack of lamb, flowing drinks, roses and intimate conversation like this…

Table 2:

Me: “Here’s your appetizer,” as I set down the plate. “Jumbo shrimp cocktail.”

Wife to me: “Thank you.”

Wife to husband: “MY mother gave ME the money and if I want to buy a new ottoman, I’ll buy a new ottoman!”

Husband: Frowning, “Whatever you want dear.”

Oh boy, I think.

Table 3: 

Me: “Hi. Excuse me.”

Couple: No response

Nevermind, these two need to go and get a room, I think.

Table 1:

Husband: “Excuse me. Can I get another drink?”

Me: “Yes.” I reply, thinking that’s his third one.

Table 4:

Me: “Hi! Can I get you something to drink?”

Female guest: “Yes, a…glass of pinot grigio.”

Oh God. She’s crying, I say to myself.

It’s peak dinner time and the house is packed. I bring table 2 their entrees and they’re arguing. I return to table 4 and realize that his date has left as he places an order for himself, while looking embarrassed.

This night is a mess, I think. Well, it couldn’t possibly get any worse.

As I’m at the computer entering an order, the wife at table 1 gets up to use the lady’s room. Moments later I feel someone pulling at my apron near the side of my  waist.

Drunk guy from table 1: “Hey, beautiful! What are you doing later?”

This guy’s wife is in the lady’s room. You have got to be kidding me.

Valentine’s Day is full of hope and expectation of the perfect romantic evening, the perfect connection. In my perspective, you can’t conjure up that romance or that connection. Valentine’s Day isn’t about doing what’s expected or trying to show your love one night out of the year, it’s about celebrating your love every day of the year.

Whether you spend Valentine’s Day out at a fancy restaurant, or home in your pj’s eating chinese food and watching Netflix, give the one you love the best you have to offer…every single day.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love,

Your local waitress

 

What is your favorite Valentine’s Day story? Share it here.