“Nobody Cares What You Have To Say”

It’s been seven years since I started writing and speaking about domestic violence.

I have written for many organizations and I have spoken in front of large groups of people. For years my own children didn’t know half of the things that I had accomplished or was involved in.

In 2014, I was appointed to the Restraining Order Task Force for the General Assembly and served for six months. It was quite an experience and one that made me come to realize just how difficult it is to change a law in this country.

Eventually, my children caught wind of some of the things that I had been doing.

I remember them telling me, “Mom, no one cares what you have to say.”

Well, what I have to say is this…

When I began blogging, I had it in my heart that I wanted to write. I wanted to share both my humor and my perspective with the world.

Thank you, to all of you that read my blog, message me and share my stories with your friends and family.

I love to hear that I make you laugh.

I love to know that contrary to popular belief in my house, someone does care about what I have to say.

If you’re reading this post right now, know that you are my reason to keep at it…

You have helped me to realize that my voice does matter and that someone does care what I have to say.

Much love,

Erin Cooper Reed

 

 

It’s Exciting To Be Blonde… And Polish…

Here’s a picture of me when I was 30 years old. I had just given birth to my son Kevin and went crazy trying to find a dress to wear to a formal night-time wedding.

11095399_10205607658088634_3125348224303725650_n

 

Through the years I’ve learned to accept the fact that although I consider myself to be relatively intelligent I do some really stupid shit.

I attribute this to being blonde and my Polish side, although I am also Irish and German.

I’ve learned to embrace it all and laugh at myself… and often others do too.

One night when I was working at the restaurant, a customer called me over to her table. She held up two bottles of oil for her salad and stated, “I need vinegar. You gave me two bottles of oil.”

I replied, “Sorry, let me go find the person that has the two vinegars… this is what happens when your waitress is blonde and Polish.”

My customer laughed out loud.

Another time, a customer at one of my tables stopped and asked me what our restaurant was best known for. We have shirts that say we are “Famous for our roast beef” on the back of the shirt.

We also have shirts that are blank on the back.

I paused, turned around and pointed to the back of the shirt that I was wearing and asked, “What does my shirt say?”

The customer slowly replied, “Nothing.” and looked at me as if I was crazy. Of course, I was wearing the shirt with the blank back.

I had to laugh at myself, but I don’t worry about these occurrences because I know that I’m in good company.

One night my dad was watching T.V. and my blonde and Polish mother was waiting for his show to be over so she could watch a program that she had been wanting to see.

She asked my dad, “Ed, how long is 60 Minutes on?”

We all laughed our asses off!

The Polish are known for amazing food and for making the best alcohol and chocolates.

And, all joking aside, all of the Polish people who I have met are always really nice and jovial with great senses of humor…

As was my blonde and Polish grandmother.

After she passed, I inherited a set of her salt and pepper shakers.

IMG_20170717_140511

And now you know where I got my sense of humor from.

My life, I swear!

Image result for images of being Polish funny

Have a great day!

Erin Cooper Reed

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check It Out…

Ah, the restaurant check book, tool of the trade. It seems that I always carry one in my purse. I’m a waitress and that’s just how I roll. In fact, with my job, I have to be ready to come into work at a moments notice to cover a shift… any day, any time.

This leaves me with the responsibility of being prepared like a boy scout. I have frequently considered sleeping in my work clothes and installing a fireman’s pole just to be as quick and efficient as possible when I get the unexpected call to work, usually on my day off.

Over the years I have grown accustom to the spontaneity and dedication that it takes to pull this off. I have also told John that he may as well be in a relationship with a paramedic seeing that the over all disruption of plans and outcome is the same.

Tonight after working a double and getting out late, I met John at a sushi place that we haven’t been to in over a year.

The atmosphere is amazing and the food is great! I have to admit that I’ve missed dining there, but what can I say, the last time that we went was nothing short of a disaster.

It must be almost a year since we dined at Dao Fusion and our last visit was memorable, to say the least. The restaurant was inviting. We enjoyed some alone time in an intimate booth and ordered a bottle of wine.

Photo of Dao Fusion Cuisine & Lounge - Stratford, CT, United States. Tatami room

The food was delicious.

Photo of Dao Fusion Cuisine & Lounge - Stratford, CT, United States. Never disappoints! Love this sushi!

The service impeccable.

You may be wondering why we never went back after our fine dining experience one year ago.

Well, the answer could very well have landed both of us in jail…

After the waitress brought our bill and we were getting ready to leave, I began placing all of my belongings in my purse… my cell phone, car keys and sunglasses.

We walked to John’s car and got in. As John started the engine, I was startled by a noise… the waitress that served us was frantically banging on the window of the passenger seat where I sat.

I pressed the button on the door and slowly lowered the window, looking perplexed.

“You took the check book!” She yelled.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“You didn’t pay the bill!” She said, “You took the check book!”

Before I could reply John leaned over and said, “She’s a waitress.”

As if that explained it all.

“Look, I am a waitress and I have no idea what you’re talking about. I paid the bill and tipped generously.” I replied.

“I need my check book.” The waitress demanded.

Laughing I replied, “I don’t have your check book.”

As I opened my purse.

There in my purse sat two check books.

One from my work and one from the lunch that we had just enjoyed.

Slowly and sheepishly, I slid the cash filled check book through the open gap in the car window.

The waitress grabbed it and stamped off.

“Well, we’re NEVER going back there again.” I said to John.

We both laughed as my cheeks turned a bright shade of red.

But guess what?

We did, a year later… tonight, in fact.

I double and triple checked my purse as we paid the bill and just for the record, no one followed us out to our car.

Today maybe it’s just the small victories…

Or just my life…

I swear…

 

 

 

 

Ahhh, Work…

Guys, I love you and I have been working like a dog. Strange expression… all I see dogs do is sleep.

Anyway, I have a million blog posts running through my head everyday and no time to write.

Have no fear, I’ll make it all up to you and I promise to deliver.

Carry on, hard workers of the world!

There’s more to come.

You can count on it.

I am a person of my word.

Erin Cooper Reed

3 Sheets To The Wind

John and I have a very comfy queen sized bed with a deep, thick mattress atop a split box spring.

Over the past few years, it has become our one indulgence to purchase quality, high thread count sheets.

We started out with a three hundred thread count, then moved up to five hundred, then to one thousand. Along the way, we’ve learned that purchasing sheets by thread count alone doesn’t always give you the best sheets… weave, fiber, finish, as well as where the sheets are made are equally important. (Just for the record, Italy and France make some of the best.)

As, we grew our queen sized luxury sheet collection we found ourselves sliding into bed every night feeling like we were at a five-star hotel. What a wonderful feeling!

Unfortunately, like most nice things that you own as parents, our sheets began to disappear.

Me: “John, why is there no top sheet on our bed?”

John: “I couldn’t find it, not the one that matched anyway.”

Me: “Seriously? Is it in the wash? It has to be around here somewhere! We spent a lot of money so we could have nice sheets.”

The months passed and our five-star hotel experience was starting to become more like a last-minute stay at an old Howard Johnsons motel when your car breaks down.

Me: (As I’m making our bed) “Why do our sheets have holes in the corners?”

John: “I guess the boys were nailing them up in the basement to make walls for their man cave.”

“Are you kidding me?” I replied, as I stamped down to our unfinished basement and pulled back a nailed up sheet to address my video-gaming sons in their man cave.

Clenching the sheet tightly in my fist, I yelled: “This is a European, one- thousand-thread-count sheet that now has rusted nail holes in it!”

My sons glanced up from their video games and stared at me like I had three heads or was speaking in tongues before saying, “Sorry Mom” in unison.

After working ten days in a row and then fifteen hours on Wednesday, I came home late at night, to pull back the covers and find a flat sheet on our bed where our European cotton, open-weave, satin finish, deep pocket, fitted sheet used to fit snugly.

“Sorry Erin, I can’t find any of our fitted sheets,” John said.

“That’s it! I’m restarting our luxury sheet collection!” I replied.

This week I bought my first new set.

And do you know what else?

When my sons become parents, I’m buying each their first expensive, high-quality, one-thousand-thread-count sheet set.

When they come to tell me that the beautiful sheets that I bought them ended up…

A) In the dog crate.

B) Used in a tree fort.

C) Cut to make a princess train for a Disney costume,

Or,

D) Nailed to the ceiling of a “Man Cave.”

I’m just going to smile and say, “Awww, that sucks, huh?” while I try to hold back my laughter.

In the meantime, I’m going to guard my new luxury sheet set with my life.

I know that I’ll need it for a good night sleep…

But I just may need to tie the top sheet into knots before throwing it out of my bedroom window to make my great escape.

I’ll let you know how it turns out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vacation!

Well, truth be told I haven’t had a vacation in five years and this year isn’t looking too promising either.

Starting over mid-life, after a divorce, isn’t easy to say the least. I think I have received more money from manufacturer’s rebates in the last five years than I have received in child support payments. (And just for the record, I don’t generally fill out manufacturer rebates.)

So here I sit planning how one combines a “Staycation” with a full work schedule… I mean is that even possible?

I guess I could cover myself in sun screen, and show up to work in a bikini and sunglasses but I’m not sure how well that would go over at my job.

So I guess that I’ll have to treasure the downtime I have and settle for the small pleasures in life…

Like laying on the bed in an air-conditioned room and reading a good book.

Or spending my day off weeding my mom’s walkway and watering her flowers only to see the appreciation and delight in her eyes as we sit and talk over a tuna sandwich.

Or staying up late listening to music with John, what we have named, “singing and dancing night.”

Or driving my kids wherever they need to go and savoring the uninterrupted alone time in the car with them, just to talk.

Or having them ask, “What are you making mom?”

And hearing them yell, “YES!!!” when I reply it’s their grandmother’s recipe. (One of their absolute favorites)

It’s the smiles, the conversation, the laughter and the time.

It’s the long hours and hard work that gives me the ability to say yes to that new pair of sneakers, the money for the movies or enables me to meet a need that they’re not sure I can.

So this summer, I won’t be sporting a tan or posting pictures on Facebook of the amazing view from my hotel room.

But I can tell you this, the view from this house isn’t so bad after all.

Happy summer!

I hope it’s the best!

Much love,

Erin Cooper Reed

 

 

 

I Need Some Motivation!

I just worked ten days in a row and today is my one day off to clean. I’m looking around this place and I’m thinking maybe I’ll just light a match and move on…

Is that wrong?

I’d prefer to blog over cleaning any day of the week but it’s hard to have a clear head when your house is a mess.

So, first things first.

Stay tuned for my clean house, clear thoughts to come…

Maybe, I’ll write another series.

And if the cleaning doesn’t pan out, I can still light that match.

Just sayin…

 

 

 

Our House…The Kids Off On Summer Vacation Song

One of my favorite songs…

My take on “Our House” during summer vacation from school.

Ode to my teenage boys.

 

Our House (Previously sung by Crosby, Stills & Nash) Remake by Erin Cooper Reed

I’ll grab a shovel,
You find the handle, for the broom that we bought today.
Staring at this mess, for hours and hours while I listen to you,
Say you’ll clean it, all week-long for me, only for me.
Come to me now and turn off the Xbox live for just five minutes, everyone can wait.
Such a dirty room, the windows are illuminated,
By the evening, sunshine through those, dog nose prints for you, only for you.
Our house is a very, very, very fine house with a hockey net laying in the yard,
Why is putting things away so hard?
Now everything is messy ’cause of you.
And our, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
Blah, blah, blah, blah…
Our house is a very, very, very fine house with a hockey net laying in the yard,
Why is putting things away so hard?
Now everything is messy ’cause of you
And our,
I’ll grab a shovel, while you find the handle for the broom that we bought today-ay-ay-ay.

Here’s What I Can Tell You About Adoption, Kevin…

Throughout his life, my oldest son Kevin has made it very clear that he never wants to get married or have children. Well, until Anna came along, that is.

While Anna was visiting us in Connecticut, Kevin announced that they “want to adopt, maybe internationally.”

“That’s great guys!” I said, “But adoption is very expensive.”

“Expensive?” Kevin said, “I thought it was free.”

Free? I’m not sure who these kids think they are, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, but I couldn’t even adopt a kitten.

I’m serious.

I was never a fan of cats… until one stormy night when John and I returned from a business trip, to find a beautiful grey cat on our front porch.

My parents had our dog Max for the week and it was pouring rain.

“Can we just let him in for the night?” John asked.

“Okay, just for one night.” I replied.

Needless to say, one night turned into 2 years.

We named the cat Charlie. He was an outdoor cat who went on his adventures but always returned home. He wasn’t much work because he didn’t use a litter box and preferred the outdoors.

Charlie was sweet and fastidious, his coat was a beautiful soft grey and he was always grooming.

I learned so much about cats and all that they have to offer… and yes, Charlie grew on me. Ultimately, I accepted Charlie as part of our family.

My kids fell in love with Charlie and so did I.

I have to admit, that this “dog person” who couldn’t stand cats, had changed her tune.

One day, Charlie didn’t come home.

We were all heart-broken and spent the following days and months looking for him.

My son, Marc took it the hardest,  first going on about how much he missed Charlie… which turned into how much he wanted a kitten.

“I miss Charlie too.” I said to John, “Maybe we should get a kitten.”

John loves cats.

That’s all it took, one statement from me, and we were on our way to a local animal shelter. We stopped to pick up John’s mother to help us pick out a kitten.

I was excited and looking forward to leaving with a beautiful, new kitten that day.

Apparently, so were the two little blonde girls that got out of the car next to us with their parents.

We were greeted by a woman from the shelter who motioned for all of us to take a seat at a table and fill out a form.

Once we completed and handed in our applications, the women turned to the father of the two little blonde girls. “So where are you planning on keeping the kitten?” She asked the little girl’s father. “Well, the living room, bedroom or basement.” He replied.

“So, you’re going to keep a cat in the basement to catch mice.” She snared.

“No,” The dad replied, “I meant that the cat could have the run of the house.”

The woman glanced at my application and turned to me.

“So, have you had any other pets?” She asked.

“Yes, lots. ” I replied.

“Well, how did they die?” She inquired.

“How did they die?” I repeated, “I’m almost 50 years old! Do you want me to recall how every pet I owned died?”

At this point, the two little blonde girls looked scared to death themselves.

I tried to stifle my sarcastic wit that wanted to shout, “Well, let’s see… one of my dogs died in a NASCAR accident, one ran off and joined the circus… one died of a heroin overdose… oh, and yes… it was very tragic, one committed suicide.”

Instead, I held my composure and tried to recount what I could remember.

“What do you do for a living?” She asked, “And can you afford to care for a kitten?”

“I’m a waitress.” I replied, starting to feel that I wasn’t at all worthy of adopting a cat.

“This is ridiculous!” John whispered in my ear, as I heard the little blonde girls asking their parents if they were going to get to hold a kitten today.

We should have left then, but we stayed, we wanted to hold a kitten too. I was right on board with the little blonde girls.

The woman led us into an old renovated house that was the animal shelter and up a set of very steep stairs to the third floor. There in a large cage was a female cat and her six kittens.

“The mother is feral, so no one can touch the kittens.” She announced.

The little blonde girls began to cry.

This was shaping up to be a stellar Saturday.

The woman explained that we would have to pay the fee and then we would be notified if we were approved to get a kitten.

On the way out the door, John’s mother asked, “How much is the fee?”

“One hundred and seventy dollars.” The woman replied.

“One hundred and seventy dollars!” John’s mother said in shock, “They’re feral cats!”

“What ever happened to free kittens in a box at the grocery store?” John mumbled.

Needless to say, neither myself or the other family paid the fee.

We walked back to our cars in silence, with the exception of the sobs from the little blonde girls.

I never realized that adoption was so hard and so judgmental, even with a cat.

I’m just not sure that I’m cut out for it, but if Kevin and Anna want to adopt a child internationally, I’m thinking that they should get a hold of Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt.

Just sayin…

My Life, I Swear.