“This Too Shall Pass…”

As I’m trying to write this, Marc has come into my room three times to ask for twenty dollars to go see the new Spiderman movie. I guess that’s better than the usual fight over whose turn it is on xbox live, while I’m trying to write, or (my favorite), the latest annoying rap song on repeat.

In my mind I’m in a cabin in the woods, my house is perfectly clean, I can write whenever I want, in silence, while sipping a cup of tea. When I finish writing, I’ll plant some flowers, take a long shower, then John and I will go out for a leisurely, romantic dinner at a fabulous, expensive restaurant.

In reality, my front door slams relentlessly while my boys and their friends run up and down the stairs yelling and laughing, as both of the dogs bark.

My refrigerator door gets just as much action, as my sink piles with dishes.

The requests never cease, nor does my responsibility to provide for these children.

Can Michael sleep over?

Can I get a ride to the gym? The train station? Over to Shawn’s house? To hockey? To work?

I have to work today, myself. And I have to stop for gas because the gas gauge on my car is broken and way too expensive for me to fix.

“Mom, can I have money for the mall? Taco Bell? New Sneakers? To get a snack at the corner store?”

I’m still making payments to the electric company to try catch up from when I was out of work for three months because of a knee injury.

We’re going to need to fill the oil tank soon, and just for the record, I haven’t had a manicure in months.

I have my own aspirations of things I want to accomplish in life, things I want to experience and places I’d like to visit.

For now I grin and bear it.

Dreaming of a day when there’ll be less working, more writing and more peace and quiet… more time for me.

I tell myself this is just a busy point in my life, raising these three boys. I know time flies and in the blink of an eye…

The house will be quiet.

There’ll be no dishes piled in the sink.

The laundry will be caught up.

And my house will be clean.

And silent.

Someday, there will no longer be the sound of slamming doors or footsteps on my stairs.

There won’t be any requests from my boys or needs to be met.

There will no longer be loud voices in my home, or the sound of their laughter.

I know one day, I will have done my job and my boys will move on to their own lives.

I won’t get to see their handsome faces everyday, or their smiles, or feel their hug.

I know this busy, hectic, loud, crazy time in my life shall pass…

And, I know I don’t really want it to.

Not yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Reasons That Single Moms Rock! (As told from my experiences as a single mom)

Let’s face it, single moms are resourceful. We are bonded by our ability to get things done and make things happen under the most limiting, seemingly impossible set of circumstances. This takes creativity, ingenuity, sacrifice and smarts. Now, I’m sure that you have respect for the single mom who works hard to provide for her family but I’m not sure that you can even begin to fathom just how savvy and determined we actually are. So let me be the first to give you the real inside scoop…

10 Reasons That Single Mom’s Rock:

  1. We’re not afraid to be alone – Contrary to popular belief, we are really okay with not being in a relationship…I’m not saying that having a relationship isn’t nice, but true to our hearts, our children come first.
  2. We find a way to provide our families most basic needs – It only takes one friend from school staying for a sleepover and one unpaid electric bill to equal, lesson learned. You can’t let the power get shut off ever again…plus using the excuse that a car must have hit a utility pole up the street only works once.
  3. We figure it out on our own – Sometimes the only way to have enough money to purchase the cleats for baseball is to scour through your closet looking for clothing  (that you got as gifts) with tags still on, hoping that you’ll be able to return them for cash. Been there, done that. Got the cleats.
  4. We lean on each other – Truth…We complain, we joke and sometimes we even cry but we lean on our other single mother friends for support when the going gets tough. There is always strength in numbers. 
  5. We take on the big challenges – Great. I have to purchase three laptops for school by the end of this week…PANIC…IMPOSSIBLE. “Don’t worry guys, mommy will get them for you.” After running around to a multitude of stores and realizing that you really can’t afford this, you end up at the local pawn shop. As fate would have it, not only do you find three affordable laptops, but there just happens to be a computer teacher from the high school there when you are. He resets all of the passwords and clears the memory on all of the laptops out of the kindness of his heart. Victory! Mom comes through, even if it took a day of running around and four hours at the pawn shop.
  6. We go without – Probably true of all moms but we single moms really put ourselves last. No vacation, no haircut every six weeks, no popular trends in clothing or fashion. If we don’t look good, know that we’re smiling because our children do. Sales, clearance, thrift stores…they only know that somehow mom got them what everyone else is wearing.
  7. We can turn nothing into something – It might be a recipe that becomes a family favorite created solely of “Whatever I have to work with” or a birthday or holiday that we make memorable on a shoestring budget…in retrospect we can’t even remember how we pulled it off, but we did.
  8. We find resources – Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Google it, inquire, seek it out. Somehow, someway, you can accomplish anything with a lot of drive and effort. 
  9. We understand the struggle is real – It ain’t easy! That’s the God’s honest truth and I challenge anyone who thinks that they can do a better job to come on over and hold the fort…but you have to come alone.
  10. We don’t give up – Being a single parent, male or female, isn’t for the faint of heart. In fact, it takes everything that you’ve got, everyday, and everything that you’ve got even on the days when you have no idea where you’re going to find the strength…but I do know this, I’ll never turn my back on the challenge. In the end it all comes down to love…and what better driving force is there than that.