Posted on by mylifeiswear.com · 11 Comments

DO NOT Call Me At Work Unless It’s An EMERGENCY

If there is one thing that I’ve instilled in all three of my children, it is the importance of not disrupting me at work, unless it is an emergency.

That being said, when I see one of their numbers come up on my cell phone, I’m struck with panic.

Oh God, I hope everything is okay!

“Mom.”

“Yes, Rocky?” I ask in a concerned voice, “Is everything all right?”

“No, everything is not all right! Marc traded my favorite sneakers to a kid up the street for a trash bag full of soda can returnables… my FAVORITE SNEAKERS!”

“What? Okay, I’m at work right now. I’ll figure it out when I get home.” I reply.

“I hope so, if not I’m going to kill him!” Rocky yells before hanging up the phone.

 

Cell phone vibrates. Ugh, not again.

 

“Mom.”

“Yes, Kevin. What is it? I told you kids not to call me at work unless it’s an emergency.”

“Rocky and Marc are fighting. Is there any way you can lend me ten dollars or drive me to GameStop to sell some video games?” Kevin asks.

“Kev, I’m trying to work right now. Please make sure that your brothers aren’t fighting. I have to go.”

“Wait Mom, what time do you get out?”

 

Cell phone vibrates. You have got to be kidding me!

 

“Hello. Make it quick!”

 

“Mom… wait, wait, wait… don’t hang up.” I hear Marc say into the phone. “Rocky hit me! Is there anyway that you can take me to the store to return some soda cans?”

 

Tonight I’m having all of them Google the word “Emergency.”

I don’t think the Google search will reveal anything to do with sneakers, soda cans or video games… but I’ll have them check anyway, just to be sure.

 

My life, I swear…

 

 

 

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Posted on by mylifeiswear.com · 3 Comments

Your Lack of Planning is NOT My Emergency…Or Is It?

What is it about kids that makes everything from, “Mom I need socks!” to “Can you drive me to my game?…it starts in fifteen minutes…” a total emergency? If life isn’t stressful enough, add lack of planning and extreme urgency to equal one frazzled mom always chasing her tail. If you’re not quite sure what I’m saying then let me make it crystal clear…

On a Sunday night, I’m sporting some comfy pj’s while boiling water for a cup of tea when my son Rocky enters the kitchen.

“Mom, we have to go to Home Depot!” he announces.

I reply, “Home Depot? It’s twenty after eight and they close at nine. I’m in my pajamas. What could you possibly need at Home Depot at this time of night?”

“Some chicken fencing and wire cutters.” Rocky replies, matter-of-factly.

“For what?” I ask, not hiding my annoyance.

“The science fair. It’s tomorrow,” Rocky says.”Come on mom, we have to go before they close.”

“Why do you kids ALWAYS wait until the last-minute?” I begin to complain, “We had ALL day to do this!”

Now, if you’re a parent you know exactly how this story ends. Yes, I drove Rocky to Home Depot. Yes, chicken fencing and a decent pair of wire cutters are expensive. Yes, I stayed up half the night helping to construct a science fair project. Yes, Rocky did well in the science fair and got rave reviews. Yes, my tea was ice-cold. And yes, I was dead tired the next day at work.

I have had many last-minute trips to stores just before closing, to purchase poster boards to diagram the skeletal system and others to purchase foam balls to recreate the solar system. I am well aware that I have many more in my future, as well as many more sleepless nights ahead. At this point, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that it’s all part of being a parent.

All of that being said, I’m pretty sure that the cosmetic industry will never invent an anti-aging cream that will counter the fatigue my appearance has suffered living under this amount of pressure and daily stress…but if they do, I’m buying myself a case.